Dresses are so nice they’re just tubes of fabric you can throw on with very little effort and when you wear one and people are like “oh wow you dressed up you look really nice” but it’s like
ah yes my disguise is working. you think i cared this morning
I am mesmerized by boys who wear their hair in buns
“I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.”
why can’t hurricane names be culturally diverse
because white people destroy everything.
when people who have treated you like absolute shit are sad
" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "
"We all know the story. Virginal girl, pure and sweet, trapped in the body of a swan. She desires freedom but only true love can break the spell. Her wish is nearly granted in the form of a prince, but before he can declare his love her lustful twin, the black swan, tricks and seduces him. Devastated the white swan leaps of a cliff killing herself and, in death, finds freedom." - Black Swan (2010)
do you ever see an opinion that’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for that person’s brain
I use tumblr more out of habit than enjoyment at this point
When ya homie hit you wit the “Draw 4” in Uno
nobody in college gives a shit ive seen peope walking to class in heavy snow in sweats and a tshirt and flip flops ive seen people wear studio headphones in lecture ive heard so many professors curse its really some next level shit and high school did not prepare me for it
I was not prepared for university particularly this one lecturer that would slip in a photograph of fisting into presentations to check we were paying attention
I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn’t screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I’d never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.
taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure
I’ve come to the conclusion that Sam and Dean would take one look at Night Vale and burn it to the ground, civilians be damned.
i’ve come to the conclusion sam and dean would drive into night vale and spontaneously combust from being exposed to sexual and racial diversity and women who don’t die within a week